10

To My Husband,

     Today we celebrated our 10th anniversary.  I've been a little emotional.  Strangely emotional, considering how often we've actually forgotten our anniversary almost altogether.  I think it's because it's 10.  A full decade.  Just about a third of our lives. I've been having flashbacks of our lives over and over and things I forgot keep popping up.  But I have a favorite one.

     We were sitting in church, it was sacrament meeting.  We had a 2-and-a-half year old and an 18-month-old.  The 18-month-old was starting on the terrible twos early, and would get so frustrated and have some seriously major meltdowns in his tiny (although huge for a 1-year-old) chubby adorable frame.  You were taking him out and I can't remember if it was because of one of these major tantrums, or if he just needed a diaper change.  I'm guessing it was a tantrum, because I remember thinking you could have been frustrated. But you weren't frustrated.  You took him in the hall, and I stayed with the 2-year-old.  And when you came back in, half way up the isle to our bench he decided to lie down on the floor.  Just taking a little rest I guess.  And you squatted down with a little half grin on your face- the one you have when you love our kids.  You gently rubbed his back. And you just stayed there waiting for him to choose to get up and walk back over to our bench.  And I just watched you, and loved you sooo so much my heart hurt a little.  This is who you are to me. I've been reliving that moment all day.  I watched it again yesterday morning, when you were so tired, and you rolled out of bed to get our current 2-and-a-half year old out of her crib.  I already don't remember what you said.  I just remember your tone of voice.  It was just love. I've watched it so many times in the last 10 years there is no way I could begin to remember it all, but yet it still strikes me as so important every time it happens.

     So many moments in the last decade of our lives have been filled with that love, that patience, that kindness.  The kind of selflessness that says, "sure, I'll watch Gilmore Girls with you." The kind that says "I love you" with your actions, with your voice, with your presence.  We have some difficult challenges in the last 10 years.  Some of it has been amazing, some devastating, really just life I think. All so clearly a part of the plan in hindsight. I have learned so much by being with you, and I would never ever trade it for anything. 

     So here's to the last 10 years...

• to 3648 days of beautiful, crazy, amazing, easy, hard, exciting, boring, happy, sad, and wonderful that I wouldn't trade for anything. (Yes I attempted to account for leap years.)
• to 2 bachelor's degrees that we got to celebrate in our cap and gowns with 2 beautiful babies in our arms.
• to 2 additional amazing healthy children and 1 more on the way.
• to 1 perfect baby miscarried, who taught us more about love and trust in the Lord than I ever could have any other way.
• to about 20,000 miles traveled, most with those beautiful kids, always between Louisiana and Alberta. #familyisimportant #somuchmoney #whycan'tmontanaandlouisianaswitchplaces 
• to 5 moves, each with more junk than the last. 
• to the ups and downs of at least 13 different jobs between the two of us (nobody can work 3 jobs at a time while going to school full time and staying up all night with a crying baby like you can babe.)
• to trials that are hard to put a number on, and to the amazing blessings that they each bring.

     And most importantly here's to another decade of being married to you and loving our perfect imperfect not-so-little-anymore family.  Thanks for choosing me. Thanks for loving us.